No Rest for the Weary...

Well, I should have known the tranquility I have enjoyed up to now was destined to end. For the past two weeks, I have dealt with nothing but family drama/politics and extreme sleep deprivation from an inability to get comfortable in bed no matter what position I try. Consequently, it looks like the bar exam is going to be a wash this time around...and a rather expensive wash, at that. However, I still have until July to pass the damned thing. And that is a relief.

I'm trying not to blame myself too much. I had no frame of reference to know how uncomfortable I would be at this stage of pregnancy (now at 37 weeks). And the family drama/politics, well...I don't blame myself for that, either. I'll say no more.

As for the BOY himself, he seems to be doing extremely well. After consideration, I fired the doctor who failed to question the complete previa. It would not have taken much for him to confirm the diagnosis, which nearly subjected me and the BOY to an unnecessary obligatory c-section. Although that error was in my favor, I want to minimize the likelihood of future errors. So we have a new doctor, who actually has a better bedside manner than the old one. It's kind of funny their change in attitude...it's gone from "you're a walking, talking hemorrhage waiting to happen!" to "don't worry about it, you're fine" and "nah, we don't need to be doing so many ultrasounds". Which is good, I guess...but I'm now a lot more skeptical about what they tell me than I was before.

Week before last, I thought the BOY was preparing to drop because we lost a centimeter on my measurements. But then we gained two centimeters last week. So it doesn't look like the BOY is in any hurry to go anywhere. Which is fine because we're only at 37 weeks and obviously, the more time he gets to "cook", the better. I'm still having Braxton-Hicks contractions, but those are the only contractions I'm having at this point.

There is a possible problem with the umbilical cord, which is low because of the low-lying placenta. Of course, last week was the first time I heard anything about it. So if the BOY begins his descent and the cord starts to descend with him, it will get pinched and cut off his oxygen. Which will necessitate an emergency c-section. And the new doctor just wanted to warn me about that. So I've been warned...but we'll see what this week's ultrasound indicates.

As far as the family drama/politics is concerned, there is now a great deal of uncertainty on my part as to whether I will be delivering the BOY alone or not. I have no choice but to plan to be alone during the delivery and then I'm pleasantly surprised if it doesn't work out that way. There are also good people who have volunteered to step in...but that's a lot to ask of somebody this late in the game. Ultimately, I chose to do this alone and alone it shall be, if necessary. I'm not going to indulge in self-pity...this was my choice. It's just a shame how you can feel secure in some things and then realize it's all an illusion. But I'm happy the BOY seems to be healthy...I'm trying not to stress him out too much by stressing myself about all the drama going on around us. I need to keep our distance from that crap...for his sake and mine.

As I type, there's a lot of activity going on in there. It's possible that somebody might be hungry. When certain people around here get hungry, they move around a lot and play with other people's bladders. This can be quite uncomfortable, particularly if the bladder in question is full (which doesn't take much, at this point). So it appears that my immediate mission is to a) empty said bladder; and b) feed hungry people. And that's not a problem at all...( :