In case there is any ambiguity about this, packing/preparing for a 3.5 month trip sucks. It particularly sucks when you're six months pregnant and high-risk to the extent you can't lift anything heavier than a pencil. But I'm not going to permit myself the luxury of bitching about it...I decided to do this alone. It was my decision. I have only myself to blame. I'm just glad that come Thursday, I will be in Anchorage.
Despite my self-imposed difficulties, I've managed to get quite a bit of work done. I'm pretty much packed...the only things I haven't packed are those I will need between now and Thursday. The FEE is packed (although she is blissfully oblivious to the fact that she will be accompanying me on this trip). Half of my plants are now at work because my apartment is going to be too cold for them while I'm gone. The dishes are done, I made bread for this week's sandwiches, the litterbox is clean, the garbage is taken out, the bathroom is cleaner than it was before (which is all that matters to me at this point). I've copied everything I will need from my desktop to my laptop and even took some time to rip some good studying music. All that remains now is to have the water shut off on Thursday, return the cable modem to GCI, pay off bills, hold my mail, turn down the heat and fridge, unplug all non-essentials, and get me and the FEE to the airport. And pardon me for thinking "out loud". ( :
There is one worrisome thing going on, however. I started spotting yesterday while I was in the midst of working...it was very, very light spotting to the point you could barely tell if it was spotting. This morning, on the other hand, it was fairly obvious. Which is a problem because it is a symptom of a possibly soon-to-rupture placenta. Needless to say, I dropped everything and put myself immediately to bed and stayed there for several hours. While I was there, I had a dream that I gave birth to a huge, three-year old boy at the hospital and my family wasn't there and the nurses couldn't be bothered with me and my birthing issues and I had to do everything myself. That was a little unsetttling. But at least I stopped spotting.
It's clear that things with me are a now a lot more delicate than they were previously. This crap makes me crazy...I don't want to have to drop everything and put myself to bed at the slightest sign that things might not be okay. It's a damned good thing I didn't try to hold out until February 1...I had no idea that I would get so fragile in such a short amount of time. I've been called a lot of things, but "fragile" was never among them. Annoying. ) :<
The BOY, on the other hand, seems completely unaffected by my "delicate condition". He kicks and rolls around and we play our little games. His little butt is now about six inches above my navel and I pat him on the butt and he hip-checks me and I pat him on the butt some more and he hip-checks me some more. I'm curious to know exactly how big he is now...if my appearance counts for anything, he's getting pretty huge. My belly now enters a room about 10 seconds before the rest of me gets there. ( :<
My next doctor appointment is in Anchorage on the 16th...I'm guessing they will be taking ultrasounds because it's technically an "in-processing" appointment. So I will try to get those posted (along with the others that I left in Anchorage) sometime next weekend. I'm also going to break down and get somebody to take some pics of me, even though I'm not photogenic on a good day and am now nowhere close to the stereotypical "glowing" pregnant lady. Apparently, the BOY will want to see me when I was pregnant with him and I'm not going to deprive him that just out of vanity.
At any rate, that's about all I have to say for now. Cross your fingers for us, that we don't get medivacced to Anchorage because I started preterm labor and/or hemorrhaged before Thursday. That would be bad.
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3 comments:
Hey there,
'You' are not fragile: you are a pillar of strength, self-reliance and intelligence! Your pregnancy is fragile, however. Isn't there someone else to clean your bathroom and do the baking? Shit...I wish I were there! I'd whip your bread and toilet into shape! (Sorry, not very appetizing.)
As far as your dream goes: giving birth to a LARGE child without help. Pretty direct imagery: you're independantly managing your whole life processes and decisions alone. Perhaps you feel there isn't anyone you CAN rely on to step in and help?(Also, what has been going on with you for three years that is coming to a head?)
Get lots of rest.
Make everyone else with arms carry your stuff.
If a random pregnant stranger in the airport asked me to carry her bags, I would do it. It's just human kindness.
E.
AAAACKKK!! Your post stresses me out and I'm hundred of miles away! I wish I could come and carry you around and make you dinners and tell everyone to leave you alone. A big Dena backpack- I think that would work well.
Yeah, I broke down and asked people at work for help yesterday...just to get me and my thousands of pounds of crap to the airport on Thursday morning. Val and the fam will be waiting for me at the other end, so I'm not worried about that. And I'm pretty much done with all the housework and running around taking care of things. All I'm doing now is waiting...and waiting, and waiting, and waiting. It feels like Thursday will NEVER get here!
Elizabeth, you sound like my favorite therapist with your dream interpretation. I think my outlook will change a lot when I'm in Anchorage...it's true that I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed in Bethel. But I'm going to have a lot of help in Anchorage, so don't mind me and my bitching too much. (:
Lili, I don't think a big, Dena backpack would be good for you...I would smush you like a bug because I'm really, really large and you're skin and bones by now from feeding Oscar. Ideally, I will be skin and bones from feeding the BOY this time next year. Wow...that would be nice.
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