Loving Home

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder and right now, I have to agree...words cannot adequately describe how happy I am to be back in Anchorage with the Family. Getting here was quite an ordeal...the day before I was scheduled to fly out of Bethel, the whole of Alaska got hit with unseasonably warm temperatures. In Bethel and Anchorage, travel was so treacherous that the schools closed and flights got canceled. I was NOT amused at this turn of events...the prospect of staying in Bethel for any longer than an extra five minutes was not part of the plan and I was in no mood to be flexible about it. Fortunately, I only had to be a little flexible...my morning flight was canceled, but I was able to get out of Bethel on the afternoon flight that same day. It was even worth the white-knuckle landing in Anchorage...I had expected it (they warned us about it repeatedly after we had passed the point of no return), but my newly-acquired sense of pregnancy-induced mortality caused me a lot more apprehension than I would have had pre-pregnancy. It's funny how just the prospect of parenthood can change your attitudes about death...I never had any problems taking risks and have even done some pretty stupid, risky things in my younger, more reckless days. But I'm thinking those days are over...I have to try to stick around to make sure the BOY gets off to a good start in his little life.

So yes, I am unreasonably gleeful about being back in Anchorage. I've had more fish in the past two days than I've had in the past two months. I can have my pick of organic anything for about a third of the cost of what it would be in Bethel (assuming its availability there, which is a big assumption). I've been to yuraq twice since I've been back...it's difficult to describe the role yuraq plays in my spirituality. The best I can say is that I was starving for it and now I'm not...even despite my inability to yuraq every song due to my rather huge gut and round ligament soreness. Needless to say, I'm glad to be home and even more glad that it's not for just the weekend. ( :

The BOY has been VERY active since our arrival to Anchorage...it could be the influx of new and different foods that I'm consuming with great enthusiasm. It could be his response to my response to being home and with the Family. It could be his own response to the Family. Or perhaps it's a combination of everything. At any rate, we've been playing the "pat the BOY's butt" game quite a bit lately.

I had my in-processing appointment with the OB docs on Friday. They again severely warned me that I could go into hemorrhage at any point between now and March and that I need to be ready for an emergency c-section. They warned me of the possibility of needing to do a hysterectomy because of the fibroid. They wanted me to get a couple of steroid shots to make sure the BOY's lungs are going to be developed enough to work independently should I need an emergency c-section sooner than later. They indicated that there would be a number of OB docs in the OR during the c-section, basically to check out the ginormous fibroid anchoring down the life-threatening previa. They want me to pre-admit myself to the hospital so that they don't need to worry about paperwork if the shit hits the fan.

I told the OB docs that I know I could go into hemorrhage at any time, but that I feel fine for now and so long as I feel fine, I'm going to stick with the original (however overly-optimistic) plan of studying for and taking the bar exam. What else can I do? I also told them that they will not be removing any of my pieces/parts unless my life depends on it...accordingly, I also pointed out that Indian Health Service has a really shitty track record when it comes to forced sterilization and that I wouldn't be a party to it. I did, however, agree to get the steroid shots (which, now that I think about it, might also have something to do with the BOY's increased activity level of late)...even though I hate butt-shots more than I hate hair clogging up the drain. I told them that it's fine with me if there are curious OB docs wanting to see my "perfect storm" up close and personal in the OR, but that they BETTER leave some room for the Family. And finally, I agreed to pre-admit myself...just because there's no good reason not to. I measure 37 centimeters...apparently, each centimeter corresponds to the size of the BOY. So I guess that's pretty big considering they're telling me that we're only 31 weeks along...but they also said that the fibroid is probably pushing the BOY up higher than he would be otherwise. My next appointment is on the 27th for an ultrasound (!). I am now VERY curious to know exactly how big the BOY is getting. To look at me, you'd think I was carrying a two-year old!

Speaking of ultrasounds, I managed to scan a few of the photos from October and late November for your viewing pleasure. I think this one is hilarious...the nice ultrasound lady and I were just talking about how resistant the BOY is when it comes to getting his little picture taken and that he wouldn't let her get anything more than a shot of the top of his skull. Then suddenly, up pops his middle finger, as if to say, "Yeah, here's the top of my skull and something else for you. Now leave me ALONE." We thought that was pretty hot. ( :

I like this one and I'm not even sure why...you can't really see anything. Maybe it's because it looks like he's actually lying down on his side, looking at the "camera" (for a change). Maybe I'm seeing something I don't realize I'm seeing. I don't know. But I like it.

Here's a profile shot...I love the profile shots because you can see his little button nose. ( :

A closer profile shot:

LITTLE FEET! FEET, FEET FEET!!!! ( :<

Okay, that's enough cuteness for now. There will be more ultrasound pics next week...barring unforeseen circumstances. I'm looking forward to seeing those of you who are in the area. as well as those of you planning a trip to the area! You will be hearing from me separately so that we can make arrangements for lunch or dinner or whatever we decide to do. ( :