Happy Holidays!

The BOY and I went to our monthly doctor's appointment yesterday. The news was not good but also not surprising...the previa hasn't moved at all (because of the fibroid) and a c-section is pretty much inevitable. I won't even be able to go into labor first, which I'm actually kind of disappointed about. The doctor wants me to be in Anchorage at 30 weeks (that would be January 6) and I have another appointment next week for more testing and blood work. So that's not too encouraging although I'm trying not to let the doctors freak me out too much. Everything on the home front has been pretty stable...you'd never know that I'm a walking, talking, hemorrhage waiting to happen. I'm probably in denial about it...but then again, I'm not going to launch myself into hysterical overreaction without a little more justification (short of bleeding to death, of course).

At any rate, we got some more pics of the BOY. As I anticipated, he was in no mood to strike the traditional poses. But we got a nice shot of him yawning before he realized what we were up to:

The BOY is very expressive with his hands...I believe I mentioned on on December 7 that he flipped us off (that pic is forthcoming). Here's one where it looks like he's giving us the "a-ok" sign:

( :

So the plan now is to try to prepare for the big 3.5 month "vacation". I need to make arrangements for the FEE in Anchorage...there is no boarding here in Bethel (and if there were, it would be three times what it would cost in Anchorage) and I'd want to visit the FEE every now and again, anyway. According to one of the magistrates, there are furnished condos in Anchorage that you can rent by the month...I need to check availability on those (and see if they will let me keep the FEE there). I need to front-pay my rent and necessary utilities and shut off the unnecessary utilities. I need to arrange for plant care. I need to try to get ahead on my work so my coverage doesn't hate me when they're working my files. And my boss said it's possible that I might be able to work in the Anchorage office for a few weeks before I need to start studying for the bar exam on February 1. Needless to say, I won't be able to take care of all this by January 6..maybe by January 15. But no earlier than that. What a pain in the ass...

At any rate, I hope everybody has a lovely holiday and new year...thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers for me and the BOY. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, as well. ( :

Working Weekend

Oh. Muh. Gawd. I am SO weary. I have a trial and four motions due this week. Fortunately, 2.5 motions are done...as is the research on the third. AND I am the on-call ADA this week, which means that I have to be available via cell phone 24/7 to every cop in southwest Alaska AND handle weekend arraignments. NOT TO MENTION that the FEE's litterbox needs to be changed, garbage needs to be taken out, I need to iron shirts for trial, and bread must be baked. I wish I could get baked...or at least moderately tipsy. But I don't think that's going to happen...at least not until next year sometime (the tipsy part...I've never been much interested in getting baked). Ah well...I guess I'll quit bitching now.

As for the BOY, he's getting bigger. I know this because it's starting to hurt when he kicks/punches/flops around. Seeing as how I still have at least 3 months of pregnancy remaining, this does not bode well for me. At all. I fear for myself. And my innards.

Braxton Hicks contractions are becoming more frequent...I think mostly because I've been focusing on work so much, I haven't really been drinking as much water as I do normally (dehydration supposedly exacerbates Braxton Hicks). I was thinking last night that I don't know how cool it would be to have a type of contraction named after you. Seems kind of dubious...like having a wart named after you. Or a type of bowel movement. I think that if it were me, I would pass on this particular class of tributes...( :<

I will close by saying that events occuring around me over the past week make me VERY, VERY, VERY grateful that I am still emotionally stable despite this pregnancy and its accompanying hormones, even in the face of my very demanding job, my very demanding and anal-retentive cat, and my various and sundry complications. I can only hope this continues throughout the remainder of the pregnancy and after the birth...I have heard things about post-partum depression that are not encouraging. Like the news stories about the mothers who toss their babies in dumpsters. Or drown them. People can be scary that way. I'd rather not go there...ever.

I love sugar-coated popcorn, though. I think I may have to go dredge some up...the FEE can wait until tomorrow for her clean litterbox. (:

Rolling with the Punches (Literally)

So, there have been developments in the whole Dena/BOY drama. Turns out that the complete placenta previa has not moved at all. The reason why the previa has not moved at all is because of the still-growing fibroid, which is positioned such that the previa cannot move out of the way as the uterus rises. This makes me an unwilling candidate for a c-section. So it's pretty much the perfect storm in there: I could deliver vaginally if the previa wasn't there because the fibroid would just get shoved aside. I could deliver vaginally if the fibroid wasn't there because then the damned previa would be able to move out of the way like it's supposed to. But with both of them there and in the exact positions they're in, I have no choice but to have a c-section. It's such a perfect storm that it's almost eerily predetermined. But I'm trying not to read too much into it.

The other problem with having a complete previa is that the BOY and I are at greater risk for hemorrhage if I lift something too heavy or if I lift something wrong or if I fall on my ever-expanding ass or if I breathe wrong. This is because the placenta is covering the oss (cervical opening) and is more prone to rupture as pressure increases in the uterus...this would not be the case if it was positioned just about anywhere else in the uterus. So now the doctors are getting a little nervous and they're talking about sending me to Anchorage two months early (immediately after xmas) if the previa hasn't moved by my next appointment on December 23. Which is going to be hugely inconvenient for me, as we're already short-handed at work and my boss will shit twice and die if I have to leave any earlier than February 15. Not to mention, I won't have any income from December 28 to May 1...unless I can work out some kind of deal with the Dept. of Law to let me work in Anchorage. Not to mention, I have a bar exam scheduled for the end of February and I'm going to need time and silence to study for it. Not to mention, I can't study for the bar exam in Anchorage because the distractions are too much for me to resist. And what the hell am I supposed to do with the anal-retentive, very high-maintenance FEE? I certainly can't leave her alone for four months...that would be inhumane.

I believe that most everything happens for a reason...ultimately to maintain the balance in the universe (and pardon me while I wax philosophical for a moment...). Don't get me wrong, I love Anchorage and getting out of Bethel is always a good thing for me because I simply HATE it here. But what about my job? What about the bar exam? What about money? What about my apartment? What about my cat? It seems like the perfect storm going on within me is causing a perfect storm without me...and about that, I have no idea what to think.

I've decided the best thing I can do is watch my ass and try to stick it out in Bethel as long as I can (ironic because as I said, I fricking hate it here). I'm going to start studying for the bar exam early. I'm going to file a "reasonable accommodation" request with the bar exam people asking them to not charge me for the July bar exam if complications prevent me taking the February bar exam. On December 23, I will see if the previa, by some miracle, has moved at all. If so, then I have nothing to worry about. If not (and that's what the doctors are expecting), I'm going to tell the doctors to make arrangements for me to be in Anchorage on February 1, which is only two weeks prior to when I was going to take leave for intensive bar exam study, anyway. This will keep my boss's feathers from getting too ruffled. I can rent a furnished something for a month to continue study, take the bar exam, then turn myself into the hospital and let them have their way with me. As for the FEE, it looks like she'll have to travel with me to Anchorage. She won't like it. But she would thank me if she knew the alternative.

So that's the plan. Obviously, it all goes to shit if I start hemorrhaging. And it's risky...maybe a little too risky. I will have to be careful. The good news is that I do not have gestational diabetes.

As for the BOY himself, he's doing great. He currently has the hiccups and that's pretty much the weirdest feeling in the world. He rolls around and kicks and punches his mama...sometimes it almost hurts. He stopped waking me up at 5:30am and we now seem to be more on the same sleeping schedule (for the moment, anyway). He likes it when I eat fruit...there's a huge kung-fu fighter reaction to the fructose after it hits my bloodstream. And he always lets me know when it's time for me to eat, after which he takes a little siesta (provided only that I don't consume fructose). He was about two pounds on November 23, which means he is the size of a 27-week old baby even though he is chronologically only 21 weeks. Which is good...if he's going to born prematurely, I want him to be as well-developed as possible.

The trip to Seattle was nice...it was good to hang out with my mom's side of the family. The BOY and I went out on my aunt and uncle's boat for the weekend. I discovered that pregnancy does not make me more prone to seasickness. And the BOY seemed to like the rocking of the boat...his activity level went down a little while we were on the water. Everybody seemed to be a little tripped out on me being pregnant...it was kind of funny.

That's about it for now...I had more ultrasound pics to post from the November 25 appointment. But I was stupid and left them in a book that I left at Val's house in Anchorage. It's lame too, because the BOY got so mad during the last ultrasound, he turned his back on the camera AND flipped us off. That was pretty funny.

So no pics for now...they'll take more at the December 23 appointment and that will have to do. Have a good Sunday!